Ignorance

I'm coming to the realization that throughout much of my life (and most likely as of current) I've been living in a state of ignorance. Living in a world where I say to myself the things I want to hear and think the endless thoughts to which I hope my future will lie. I've blindly define myself by casting a net into the sea of my past and counting the catches to be the substance of who I am. And these minute memories I've held dear because each time I recall them they bestow to me a sense of my permanence, they tell me that I have existed and that I will continue to exist so as long as I defined myself through them. But I'm beginning to see that I'm much like a bird, born trapped in an open cage fearing the uncertainty that lies beyond the walls.

Doh!

Well, looks like I missed couple days of blogging. I did intentionally avoid having to write two days ago, but yesterday I just totally forgot. I am a casual player of Go (or Weiqi or Baduk). It's only recently that decided to continue my trips down to Georgia Tech for their weekly Go club sessions. This is an AGA approved chapter and the strongest member is about 1kyu. There are about 4-5 people who attend regularly (not including myself) plus what looks like 3 new recent members (including myself). My strength is around 2-3kyu though I'm never really sure, I have been playing on and off for over 4 years now and the only place I can gauge my rank is through KGS. KGS's ranking system however, has changed quite dramatically from what I can tell. I remember that the first time I took a break from playing I stopped at round 11kyu, after probably 4-5 month later I began again and my rank leveled at around 8kyu. I rosed to 6kyu as I continued playing but again for some odd reason I would stop. Anyway, so I went through this fluctuation about 4 times but each time I would get a better ranking. It feels though as if I was a natural at this game who would spontaneously gets better by not playing. But of course, reality always kicks in when you lest excepts it and my last couple games at the Go club were just absolutely horrendous. From my losses however, I've gain a renewed motivation to get better at this game. I really hope to surpass shodan sometime soon.

More about myself

I don't think I'm in much of a writing mood right now but I want to keep some sort of consistency with this. I've never been much of a consistent person, I could certainly keep at something for a week or so but after that I just can't ever get it to become a routine. For instance, when I first started my job there was a lot of stress, in fact so much so it began to affect my body. I developed what's called PVC's (Premature Ventricular Contraction) about 6 month into my job, it only became clear to me after my trip to the ER that my then life style couldn't support much of a healthy body or mind. The next couple days I did everything within my power to turn myself around, I went to the supermarket and picked out every kind of fruit I lay eyes on, picked up perhaps 3 or 4 bags of salad, and also an array of multi-vitamins including folic-acid and fish oil. I also went ahead and setup an account with our local LA Fitness Gym, something that I kind of dreaded because it looked quite intimidating, but I started going every morning at around 7:30 to take a mile jog on the treadmill. I told myself that I would keep this up every week if I really wanted change, and I did, until the PVC's went away. I didn't entirely stop going to the gym, I just started going every other day in the evenings. I still do buy healthy food at the supermarket and take my vitamins but never on a consistent basis. Out of this whole ordeal I did gain something positive, I am more aware of my bodily needs and more conscious of what I eat. I guess for me, consistency is only needed in the desire for some end goal, a reason that drives you to take action, so in a sense it is my inability to see reason that I really have no drive to keep any routine... Honestly, after getting my job I've stopped caring about what I wanted in life and just thought about what I would do in the weekend or that night. Well anyway, I want to end this by saying that with recent events my perspective on life has changed a lot. One of the interests I listed here is "Personal Growth", it is something that I have been reading about for quite a while now but it is only recently have I begun to understand what it is all about. Gotta go get my laundry now, be back tomorrow.

My first Blog!!

Well, my first blog. Seeing as how infrequent my own written journal entries are, I really don't know how often this will be updated. But I doubt these words will pass many eyes to begin with, if at all , so I think this could serve as my actual journal entries from now on. Anyway, so first an introduction. I am a 22 year old Chinese male living in Norcross, Georgia. My occupation is a firmware engineer at American Megatrends. If you ever heard of AMIBios that's what my company does (computer BIOS). I have been working for about a year now and I can say that I really do enjoy a career over academia. Though stresses do arise every now and then, the overall satisfaction I experience from my job overwhelmingly exceed my school life. I guess it really boils down to the things you're doing, whether they have any real-world significance or just some rote lab experiment that has been done over ten thousand times. But sinceI have not obtain a M.S. yet, I do intend to go back to school, of course, only when I've gained enough experience in this field to look reputable on my next resume.

I would really like to continue to talk about other areas of my life, but I think this should be sufficient for now, I have a knack for jumping the gun. I live alone and really have no one to talk to, so this really feels like a new start for me. Even though I honestly don't think anyone will read through this and leave comments but just knowing that it's out there with a potential to become discovered gives me a bit of joy. I kind of feel like I changed a little, I think keeping an updated blog about my life would really be worth while.